Humility - A Most Attractive Feature

Humility is the most attractive feature a man can possess.  It has taken me years to derive at this personal opinion, but watching a chick flick last night with friends confirmed this in my mind.  The leading man in the film we watched was...in a word...dull.  Flat and boring.  Okay, that is three words.  But, he was distracting, but not in a good way.  His presence on the screen made it impossible to watch the gorgeous Italian scenery behind him.  In all fairness, maybe fifteen years ago, I may have thought he was the bees knees, but now at this season in my life...not a chance.  I was rewriting the movie in my mind all the way through and the leading man was no where in my script.

Don't get me wrong, I am not anti-romance and I love the whole chick flick genre, but when the leading man's lines are laced with arrogance, I lose interest.  Much like I would in real life.  Confidence is one thing, arrogance another.  At one time, I may have found the dialogue funny and clever, but last night I found the leading man's comments belittling and insulting.  Perhaps I have been jaded by failed relationships.  Or maybe, just maybe, the recovery from the fallout from failed relationships has made me wiser.  The rose colored glasses have been replaced with a reality of what is really important in building a relationship.  Communication.  

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."  This is what the Bible says in Colossians 4:6.  Salt is more than a seasoning, it is a preservative too.  Additionally, in Matthew 5:13-15, we see the Bible calls us to be the "salt of the earth" and the "light of the earth".  These are the kinds of notions that stir my little romantic heart.  The Bible and romance?  Can it be?  Why not?  It makes perfect sense to me.  


Communication, is the cornerstone of a relationship, at least for me and I am attracted to conversationalists.  Humility, as I mentioned before, is the most attractive trait, but following a close second is a sense of humor.  This is how I break it down and why the verses in the Bible solidify my thoughts on romance.  Humility can engage in conversation.  Arrogance cannot.  Wit is endearing.  Insults are not.  Humility is the light.  Wit may be the salt.  If the communication isn't happening and I am not sincerely laughing, what would be the point of a relationship?  I am to be salt and light to the world...How could I possibly be in a relationship, especially a romance, when the other person isn't already salt and light too?


This view of the world affects how I watch movies, especially the chick flicks.  The leading man cannot be over-the-top rude or arrogant, because that is not the least bit interesting no matter how cute he thinks he is.  There is no substance.  Nothing inspiring nor endearing.  The leading man must be humble and witty for a movie to be remotely plausible to me.  Those traits inspire and create a foundation to build upon.  Humility and wit (salt and light) is the fresh air in which a relationship can breathe and flourish.  
 

Little Surprise

Tonight, some friends came over to my apartment to watch a chick flick.  Much to my surprise, one of my friends brought me some flowers!  She brought me flowers in place of candy snacks that were brought in for the movie.  I'm not eating sweets right now and so she thought I should have something for the movie.  How delightful!  How thoughtful too :)  The picture is of the flowers given to me.  Aren't they beautiful?    

Little surprises like these are blessings to my life.  I love how God works through others to touch our hearts.  It's awesome!  

Scenes from a Walk

View of Downtown Indy From Terrace

 Today, one of my niece's and I went for a walk.  We were looking for something to do that was cheap and fun.  Well, a friend of mine seems to always have really cool pictures to share on facebook.  So, I suggested to my niece that we just go someplace and walk around and take pictures of what we see.  We were at White River State Park for close to three hours.  Gorgeous day!  Sunny, warm, breezy...perfect picture taking weather.  The trek and the great outdoors has rendered me tired... good tired.  Because I am so sleepy, I would just like to share some of the images from today.  They are scenes from a walk.  :)

One of the Windows at Indiana State Museum Cafe

Indiana State Museum Entrance Canalside

Clock Outside of Indiana State Museum

One of the County Art Pieces



Statue Outside Eiteljorg Museum - Canal Side

Part of Mural on  South Side of Canal



Bridge Over Canal 

View From Bridge Over Canal



Part of a Mural Painted Along the Canal

Medals of Honor Memorial

Urban Family

I cannot take credit for the phrase "urban family" but it best describes some of the people I know.  My peeps, if you will.  The urban family is the singleton's social sanctuary.  The place where logic can be found in the midst of mirth.  Where reason rises from the ridiculous.  My urban family welcomes all facets of my personality, the good, the bad, the ugly, and the unmentionable.  What do I mean by unmentionable?  Not the gutter, if that is what you are thinking.  Maybe some urban families go there, but not me.  


The unmentionables, to me, are those things I would say where most people would respond with "are you out of your mind?" or "I can't believe you would say that!"  My urban family replies to those notions with an enthusiastic "me too!" or empathetic "you have a point".  It is the kind of conversations where divulging the highlights of a really weird dream leads to creative inspiration.  Or, expressions of grief and pain are met with compassion before constructive advice is rendered, if it is given at all.  Freely speaking my mind with kindred spirits, without fear of ridicule or reproach, is priceless, the "pièce de résistance" in the Art of Friendship.

Dining with urban family tonight, brought insight into some of the things I have been struggling with lately.  These friends were the sounding board I needed to talk me back from the edge.  Not a literal edge, but the figurative.  Nonsensical ramblings can be deciphered by these friends, because they know me.  They know "the real me".  The one that doesn't always think or behave "the right way".  Having an appreciation for the human condition comes naturally to them.  My condition isn't always good, especially today, so the timeliness our get-together was a blessing.  


On days like today, I do not know what I would do without my urban family.  Being with a couple of them this evening was an infusion of joy I have needed.  My gratitude is depicted in the photo I found for my blog.  I love this picture!  It's graffiti art and it captures how I feel about my urban family tonight. 


"Oil and perfume rejoice the heart; so does the sweetness of a friend's counsel that comes from the heart"  Proverbs 27:9 (AMP)

Find Myself Lost

LOST is how I have been feeling lately.  I looked up the definition of lost and found it has several different meanings.  I can identify with most of them.  

How do I find my way when all routes are distorted perceptions of clarity?  Turning back would be a crushing defeat.  The challenges and struggles have strengthened me some, although, there was wounding in the process.  I've come too far to turn back, but what do I do now?  

I've been restless and reckless in finding my way.  Maybe there is no clarity because I am supposed to wait for awhile, and while I am waiting, I am to rest.  Rest my mind.  Rest my heart.  Rest in the presence of the Almighty God.  Jehovah.  Jehovah-shalom.  The God of peace.  I need His peace so I can hear Him.  I cannot move forward without a respite to refocus.  My prayer is found in the following scripture from the book of Psalms.  

Psalm 25:4-5 (NKJV)

"Show me Your ways, O Lord;

Teach me Your paths.

Lead me in Your truth and teach me,

For You are the God of my salvation;

On You I wait all the day."

If you think about it, pray for me.  I have been struggling with uncertainty of where I should be and debilitating doubts of my direction.  It is disheartening to me when I find myself lost.  Yet, God is my salvation from myself and in Him I can reclaim hope that He will guide me when the time is right.  

Food Pantry

A Food Pantry Haiku...

the hungry exist

endless opportunities

need a helping hand


Sometimes, folks just need someone to hold their hand and help them along.  Grace extended brings humility to the soul.  Humility brings freedom from the trappings of pride.  It's not up to me to determine who is worthy and who isn't.  The pressure is off when grace appears.  


My favorite part about helping out at the food pantry tonight was chatting with the folks who needed assistance.  They blessed me immensely.  Observing those who operate the pantry welcome people and see to their needs was humbling, yet inspiring.  It makes me want to go back again and to take a bunch of food with me!


Some of the shelves were empty, which broke my heart.  It created a challenge in me to make the commitment to be intentional with grocery shopping by including a few extra items to donate to the pantry.  Giving to the food pantry is an act of worship.  I had forgotten, but there is no condemnation from this challenge.  Just a subtle reminder to myself to remember those who have less than me.  


A Food Pantry Haiku II...
pantry shelves empty
what about the golden rule?
remember to give


I hope this isn't too preachy... Please know I am writing to myself just as much as I am to anyone reading this.  May God bless you :)

Retainers Needed Daily

Today, I had the blessing of helping out my sister.  My nephew needed a ride to the orthodontist and so I agreed to take him.  At the end of his visit, the orthodontist's assistant walked into the waiting room with my nephew to talk to me.  Uh...It was like being summoned to the principal's office as I approached them.  The assistant offered her recommendation and advice (warnings) about the retainer for me to pass along to my sister.  He needs to wear it every day.


What she told me isn't the subject of my blog, but the word "retainer" has stuck in my head this afternoon.  A retainer... What is it?  I've seen them, but never had to wear one.  They are kind of creepy looking, aren't they?  They remind me of crustaceans for some reason.  I don't like those either.  But anyway... I looked up on the web what exactly a retainer does.  It keeps teeth from returning to their original place after braces are removed.  Huh...didn't know that.

Straighten Up by Peter Griffin

Knowing what a retainer is and does begs the logical follow-up question (at least in my mind).  What are the spiritual retainers in my life?  What in my life keeps my faith strong and in place when the natural tendency is to drift back to where I was before I had any?  


It really wasn't all that long ago when my faith was pretty much non-existent.  Having faith isn't easy.  Living by faith isn't easy.  Faith takes time to grow and it needs to be exercised in order to strengthen.  Sometimes I waver.  It's true.  However, the bounce back time has become much less than it used to be.  I suppose it has something to do with my spiritual retainers.  My Bible.  My music.  My journal.  My prayers.  


I cannot hide anything from God because He is aware of everything.  When I take the time to talk to God and especially to listen, my faith is reinforced to keep me from falling back into the way I used to be.  Sometimes, my spiritual retainers are difficult.  Sometimes they are painful, especially when there are life lessons to be learned, or conviction needs to be realized.  Yet, I need these corrections in order to build my faith and keep me on the narrow path.  


It would be easier not to utilize my spiritual retainers especially when they are difficult.  Yet, feeling uncomfortable and handling it now sets me up for being able to endure in the future.  I want to reinforce and fortify my faith for the future because I really do not want to slowly slip back to the way I used to be...faithless.  Just like my nephew needs to wear his retainer every day to keep his teeth in place, I need my spiritual retainers every day to keep my faith from wavering. 




(Final Note:  The photo above isn't a dental retainer, but it was hard to find a picture of one on the public domain picture sites.  And pictures of dental retainers aren't so great to look at anyway.  I looked again.  Dental retainers are just not very pretty and I really do not want a picture of one on my blog.  These tree braces are kind of related to the topic, aren't they?)   haha   :)

Link to photo:  "http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=11144&picture=straighten-up">Straighten Up</a> by Peter Griffin