Tuesday, February 28, 2012
The Dream Theater must have opened in my mind because last night I had a pretty interesting dream, at least to me. This time, I wrote it down as soon as I woke up. I haven't sought dream analysis due to the time of day it is and I am just waiting on the dryer to finish so I can go get the laundry and go to bed. So exhausted. Haha...That makes me think of a joke. It is simply, "I'm so exhausted, I must have dreamed I was a muffler." Buh dah bum... I'll keep my day job.
Anyway, I do believe I am dreaming about goals and doubts, but the winds of change are blowing. In my dream last night, I was in a gymnasium like room being tested on my listening skills. Someone was going to read to me and that person reading was to ask me questions. Only someone else started asking the questions. I began to protest indicating the other person asking questions was different from the instructions. I was told to just answer the questions. The other person started asking me questions about things that were not in the reading and then I began getting the answers wrong. Then the examiner said, "If this were the real world, you would be a failure because you failed the test." I started to accept this fate, but then I guess I tapped into my backbone because I replied to that, "Hold on. Wait up. I am not a failure. I did not fail, you changed the rules and parameters. I am not going to accept that. I am not taking this anymore."
Afterwords, I was still in this gymnasium type room when other people were coming to me and cheering me on, indicating they saw what happened. The odd thing was they saying things in whispers, like it was a secret, as if they would get in trouble. Then someone in charge came out and agreed with me and told me I was clearly in the right and admitted the test had been changed, but the changes were not made known. I passed the test. Then people began cheering openly, but that upset me, because the same people who were speaking to me covertly were now overly enthusiastic.
Then I am in a baseball dugout. Someone I know and admire walked up and said, "I heard what happened to you. Well done." I replied, "I know. I decided I was tired of people always doing stuff like that to me. I knew I had to stand up for myself. Because that kind of stuff has made me look like this" as I motioned to my body with my hands. That person sat down on the bench, and I remained standing. The dream ends there.
So, I do think I am dreaming about goals and aspirations, because one of the many goals I set for myself was weight loss. I have dieted and failed too many times to count, so I am very hesitant to tell anyone. But, maybe I have come to a place in my life where I am no longer afraid of failure and that I have found a way to stand up for myself, at least in my dream.
I haven't contacted my dream interpreter yet, so I may be wrong. I just think the little bit I know about dream analysis is enough to tide me over until I can talk to her. I have been seeking God's wisdom and counsel on my weight loss endeavor and that is probably where I get my nerve. Perhaps gumption has always been there and God is revealing it to me. Can I make a gumption assumption? I think so. Therefore, tonight, I bought a bookmark that contains the perfect verse for me in these days, "I can do all things, through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13