Wednesday, February 29, 2012

I Love to Laugh :)

Tonight, I had dinner with friends and we laughed.  I love to laugh.  I love when laughter consumes me and it will not stop.  It's delightful!  Even even when my sides start to hurt, the joy in the moment is priceless.  I love when something funny tickles me and I laugh and laugh to the point where I can barely stand up.  That kind of laughter is soul cleansing.  

For the most part, I have been taking life so seriously in recent days, weeks, and months.  Yet, the changes in my life have warranted a sober thoughtfulness.  Changes in employment and moving to a new home are enough to drive most people a little over the edge.  Adding the spiritual level to the mix gives a whole new dimension and perspective to an already stressful time.  There is a lot to think about and process, and those things often edge out the need for humor in my life.  Somewhere in all the stress and changes, I stopped laughing, or laughing much less than I used to.  I love to laugh...I miss that person in me.

Along the same lines, I pretty much stopped trying to make other people laugh.  Finding ways to cause people to laugh was something I enjoyed doing.  I found so much satisfaction in that ability.  People erupting in laughter at a story or joke told by me was pure elation.  It did my soul good.  Somewhere in the all the stress and changes, I stopped trying to make others laugh.  I love to make others laugh...I miss that person in me.

I must still be in a phase, because when I find myself laughing these days, it is noteworthy.  Maybe not to everyone, but it is to me.  Or maybe I am coming out of a phase because I am blogging about it.  Either way, the truth is still the same... I love to laugh :)

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Gumption Assumption

The Dream Theater must have opened in my mind because last night I had a pretty interesting dream, at least to me.  This time, I wrote it down as soon as I woke up.  I haven't sought dream analysis due to the time of day it is and I am just waiting on the dryer to finish so I can go get the laundry and go to bed.  So exhausted.  Haha...That makes me think of a joke.  It is simply, "I'm so exhausted, I must have dreamed I was a muffler."  Buh dah bum... I'll keep my day job.  

Anyway, I do believe I am dreaming about goals and doubts, but the winds of change are blowing.  In my dream last night, I was in a gymnasium like room being tested on my listening skills.  Someone was going to read to me and that person reading was to ask me questions.  Only someone else started asking the questions.  I began to protest indicating the other person asking questions was different from the instructions.  I was told to just answer the questions.  The other person started asking me questions about things that were not in the reading and then I began getting the answers wrong.  Then the examiner said, "If this were the real world, you would be a failure because you failed the test."  I started to accept this fate, but then I guess I tapped into my backbone because I replied to that, "Hold on. Wait up.  I am not a failure.  I did not fail, you changed the rules and parameters. I am not going to accept that. I am not taking this anymore."  

Afterwords, I was still in this gymnasium type room when other people were coming to me and cheering me on, indicating they saw what happened.  The odd thing was they saying things in whispers, like it was a secret, as if they would get in trouble.  Then someone in charge came out and agreed with me and told me I was clearly in the right and admitted the test had been changed, but the changes were not made known.  I passed the test.  Then people began cheering openly, but that upset me, because the same people who were speaking to me covertly were now overly enthusiastic.

Then I am in a baseball dugout.  Someone I know and admire walked up and said, "I heard what happened to you.  Well done."  I replied, "I know.  I decided I was tired of people always doing stuff like that to me.  I knew I had to stand up for myself. Because that kind of stuff has made me look like this" as I motioned to my body with my hands.  That person sat down on the bench, and I remained standing.  The dream ends there. 

So, I do think I am dreaming about goals and aspirations, because one of the many goals I set for myself was weight loss.  I have dieted and failed too many times to count, so I am very hesitant to tell anyone.  But, maybe I have come to a place in my life where I am no longer afraid of failure and that I have found a way to stand up for myself, at least in my dream.  

I haven't contacted my dream interpreter yet, so I may be wrong.  I just think the little bit I know about dream analysis is enough to tide me over until I can talk to her. I have been seeking God's wisdom and counsel on my weight loss endeavor and that is probably where I get my nerve.  Perhaps gumption has always been there and God is revealing it to me.  Can I make a gumption assumption?  I think so.  Therefore, tonight, I bought a bookmark that contains the perfect verse for me in these days, "I can do all things, through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

Monday, February 27, 2012

A Plane Old Dream

Okay so, what I am about to say is, to me, slightly weird.  Somewhere in the middle of my REM sleep, I had similar dreams over and over.  Dream analysis is fascinating to me and I like to talk about it.  Regarding last night, it seems a bit odd to me to have the same dream theme occur multiple times in one night.  The details, I cannot remember exactly.  

But I dreamed I was in a small plane every time, but not piloting it.  The thing is, it crashed every time, but I survived each crash.  The last dream sequence I recall was that the plane crashed into water and I told someone who came to help that I needed to get out of the water but  I was holding the plane up with my leg.  What in the world?
Flying Plane by Linda Allardice

I'm not disturbed or upset by the dream, more like puzzled.  I've confided in my friend who helps me think through some of the common dream themes.  I do think my dreams last night were significant but not in any way prophetic.  Of course, I still need to pray because my friend has asked me some very sensible and pointed questions about goals and self-doubt.  Goals and self-doubt are things I can take to God in prayer.  Things I want to take to God in prayer because I want His guidance and counsel in my  life.  I believe and trust in this need for Holy Counsel because the Scriptures say in James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."  

When it comes to goals and self doubt, I need God and His wisdom.  I have set some pretty big goals for myself the past couple days, some I have prayed about and others, I did not even consider it.  Not that I didn't trust God, but that I didn't think it was necessary because it wasn't a big enough goal to bother Him about.  Oh...How could I forget?  My life is not my own, it is His.  He gave me life. He knows me to the very core of my being.  He knows the significant details and the insignificant.  He also knows how each play into my life.  Perhaps I have been relying on my own knowledge and strength to achieve my goals.  My dreams seem to show me that I need the wisdom of the Almighty to know how to fly and His strength to help me soar.  Maybe it took just a plane old dream to wake me up.  

"">Flying Plane</a> by Linda Allardice

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Finesse, Flair and Foxtrot

In order to keep my life in balance, tonight I listened to the crooners of today and yesterday.  Michael Buble, Bobby Darin, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra.  The charm of a crooner is a smooth voice, infused with finesse, that embraces every word yet floats across the notes.  The crooners inspire femininity and simple elegance in this little heart of mine.  No other style of music creates an environment where twirling with flair, in the mode of the foxtrot, across a living room floor or backyard is not only welcomed, but encouraged.  Finesse, flair, and foxtrot...yeah, that's what I think when I think of the crooners.