Friday, March 23, 2012

Humility - A Most Attractive Feature

Humility is the most attractive feature a man can possess.  It has taken me years to derive at this personal opinion, but watching a chick flick last night with friends confirmed this in my mind.  The leading man in the film we watched a word...dull.  Flat and boring.  Okay, that is three words.  But, he was distracting, but not in a good way.  His presence on the screen made it impossible to watch the gorgeous Italian scenery behind him.  In all fairness, maybe fifteen years ago, I may have thought he was the bees knees, but now at this season in my life...not a chance.  I was rewriting the movie in my mind all the way through and the leading man was no where in my script.

Don't get me wrong, I am not anti-romance and I love the whole chick flick genre, but when the leading man's lines are laced with arrogance, I lose interest.  Much like I would in real life.  Confidence is one thing, arrogance another.  At one time, I may have found the dialogue funny and clever, but last night I found the leading man's comments belittling and insulting.  Perhaps I have been jaded by failed relationships.  Or maybe, just maybe, the recovery from the fallout from failed relationships has made me wiser.  The rose colored glasses have been replaced with a reality of what is really important in building a relationship.  Communication.  

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."  This is what the Bible says in Colossians 4:6.  Salt is more than a seasoning, it is a preservative too.  Additionally, in Matthew 5:13-15, we see the Bible calls us to be the "salt of the earth" and the "light of the earth".  These are the kinds of notions that stir my little romantic heart.  The Bible and romance?  Can it be?  Why not?  It makes perfect sense to me.  

Communication, is the cornerstone of a relationship, at least for me and I am attracted to conversationalists.  Humility, as I mentioned before, is the most attractive trait, but following a close second is a sense of humor.  This is how I break it down and why the verses in the Bible solidify my thoughts on romance.  Humility can engage in conversation.  Arrogance cannot.  Wit is endearing.  Insults are not.  Humility is the light.  Wit may be the salt.  If the communication isn't happening and I am not sincerely laughing, what would be the point of a relationship?  I am to be salt and light to the world...How could I possibly be in a relationship, especially a romance, when the other person isn't already salt and light too?

This view of the world affects how I watch movies, especially the chick flicks.  The leading man cannot be over-the-top rude or arrogant, because that is not the least bit interesting no matter how cute he thinks he is.  There is no substance.  Nothing inspiring nor endearing.  The leading man must be humble and witty for a movie to be remotely plausible to me.  Those traits inspire and create a foundation to build upon.  Humility and wit (salt and light) is the fresh air in which a relationship can breathe and flourish.  


  1. Very glad you decided to share. :) Well said!

  2. Thanks Lori! I reread this and think I needed to say a couple more things about salt being a seasoning as well as a preservative. I just kind of left it there, but what does that look like in reality, at least to me. I suppose I can do that today. It gives me something to think on... :)