|Pineapple by Anna Cervova (link below)|
Lately, at times, I have become the worst version of myself, even to the point of loathing that which I have become. In previous blogs, I mentioned struggling with some issues. Often, in the midst of them, I have lost all sense of what is right in the world and what is not. Distorted perspectives cast doubt or fear which, in turn, cause further distortion. It is a vicious cycle culminating in me realizing that I have become something or someone I was never intended to be. But...that's on the outside. What people see. Inside, right down to the very core, is quite different.
Life has shown me things are never as they appear, but I often forget this in my struggles. If I am the pineapple in this blog, underneath the rough and unsightly exterior is tenderness and sweetness. Remorse and introspection usually follow the moments where I have blown it with words or actions. Self-correction can be within moments or after long periods of withdrawal where I try to figure out what is going on inside which takes me to the core of my being.
The core of my being is sturdy and holds together everything inside. All the tenderness and sweetness is attached to the core, making it quite difficult to separate it. I suppose that is why when I struggle with whatever life has thrown at me or faced with troubling circumstances, I feel it to the core. Yet, by the same token, moments of elation and joy affect me to the same degree. It doesn't matter whether it is anger or anguish. Delight or dread. The emotions are all consuming and everything inside me is affected.
So what is the point? I am human and like the pineapple, what is appearing on the outside may not be what is inside. I need to remember this in myself and others. Two scriptures come to mind while I am writing this and it is on those I will end the blog. The first is 1 Samuel 16:7: "...For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (NKJV) and the other is 1 John 3:20: "For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence in toward God." (NKJV)
|HTML:||<a href="http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=1621&picture=pineapple">Pineapple</a> by Anna Cervova|