It's Kind of Like a Dandelion...

The time has just blown by!!  I cannot believe I have not written in my blog since April 25!  My last blog post indicated I needed to start viewing my life in the perspective of a story.  Well... lately my story has certainly been a doozie!

There is no way to detail everything that has happened since April 25, but I can tell you for the first time in my life, I can actually say I love what do for a career.  Loving my career was the result of viewing my life through the perspective of a story, not just any story, though... history.  Everyone has a story to tell, but I was not viewing my daily activities and comings and goings as part of a larger story.  The people I work with every day have their own stories but together, we impact various parts of the world in which we work.  I can bring joy, peace, love, kindness, gentleness into my daily activities or I could choose to bring jealousy, anxiety, judgment, intolerance, or a host of other negative attitudes with me to work everyday.  Believe me, I've been the latter kind of person in a work environment (even this one) and looking back I see what a waste of flesh it was to be that way nearly every day.  I was in a rut or steeped in self-loathing. Or something...

As I have been attempting to take stock of my life and realize what I do every day plays into the bigger story of history, I know I must choose daily what path I will take.  Do I want to give or do I want to take?  Should I invest in this person or that person or both? What if I could make a difference in the world?  What if what I did mattered?  What I have learned from viewing my life in the context of a story is everything we do matters!  Every choice affects another person's story.  Seemingly insignificant choices have the potential to be...a spark ...a catalyst ...a spring board ...an answer to someone's prayer.  They also have the power to be ...a worst nightmare ...a bad day ...the last straw ...the last chance.  We just never know.  

So what does this all mean.  What am I talking about?  Well, I am a follower of Jesus Christ and as follower,  I must be willing to do what He showed us to do in the Gospels.  Love and forgive.  Help and have faith.  Submit to Him and say lead me.  Ask God to reveal himself and listen, live, and love.  What I have yet to mention, though, is the one thing that frightens me the most.  That is the concept of "dying to self".  To be a fully devoted follower of Jesus Christ is to say, not my will be done but yours.  It means giving up what I want to let someone else have it.  What is the best part of "dying to self"?  It means once I die to myself, my dreams are not my own, my life is not my own.  It means I am about to really live the life intended for me to live!

My words are nothing new; the words are ancient.  According to the scriptures, I must "die" to live again!  Not physically, though someday I will, but spiritually, to become part of a bigger picture where I can freely give of myself for a greater cause, something "more than this".  What does this look like?  To me, it is sowing seeds of hope and faith into some other person's life, when all seems lost to them.  It's planting seeds of love and care, when there is no evidence of reciprocation.  It's extending grace when it is undeserved.  Being aware of all the things happening all around allows the Holy Spirit to give flight to my dreams of making a difference in the world around me.  It's kind of like a dandelion...  All it needs is just a little wind to die and live again. 

Feet Don't Get Cold In Fairy Tale Snow

twilight... wide open spaces, misty meadows, and pristine forests all blanketed with snow...  the unknown... the villain... the hero and heroine... danger... resolve... valor… triumph…*sigh*

Give me a fairy tale and I am whisked away into a world of magic and make-believe, loving every minute of the suspense weaved with adventure and danger.  Fascinated by these stories, I am often left wondering, are these tales intended for entertainment only?  Or could they also be metaphors or parables of how we should view our lives?  Should I have a life story of epic proportions?  I think so, because as I see it, my life is more than just me.  My life has eternal consequences and what is more epic than eternity?

When I view my life as a series of events, most of them seem very routine and, quite frankly, boring.  I’ve made safe choices so the rate of success could be quite high. Not that I figured it out before making the decisions, I believe my sub-conscious steered those.  Yet, when I look at my life through the lens of a fairy tale, it's little wonder why my life is a bit stagnant.  Why I feel like I am stuck in a rut…  Why my soul feels weighted and downcast…

Sure, the essence of life is inherently wonderful, but something is missing in mine.  I think I know what it is, but fear I might be considered insane if I mention it.  But I must take the risk… My life is missing the adventure I was born for!  This is not a novel concept.  I have been reading about this kind of reaction to the perfunctory life.  Perfunctory.  Just uttering the word renders me sleepy with apathy.  Why bother? What’s the point of a routine life? It’s simple and predictable, but God gave me the gift of imagination and the need to create, which is neither simple nor predictable.  It seems as though I have been under some sort of spell and need to fight against the mechanical me and, in triumph, wear the Imago Dei.  To wear the image of God that was intended for me is something to fight for and live for 'til the end!

So my challenge this week is to take the time and view my life through the perspective of a story.  If I look at my life in the context of a fairy tale with the backdrop of the imagery described at the start of this blog, maybe I can break the spell.  I need to see my life in the context of the supernatural to get the full experience of what is really going on, right?   It is in the supernatural realm where the battles are fought according the Bible and I believe I am in a fight for my life right now.  In my mind, the supernatural realm must be kind of like the fairy tale world, where things are not as they appear and some things defy nature, reason, or expectation.  Okay... so... In my imagination, it's twilight...there are wide open spaces, misty meadows, and pristine forests all blanketed with snow... I sense a battle looming... I will stand my ground and fight because feet don't get cold in fairy tale snow. 

Ephesians 6:10-13 "...be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."  

Humility - A Most Attractive Feature

Humility is the most attractive feature a man can possess.  It has taken me years to derive at this personal opinion, but watching a chick flick last night with friends confirmed this in my mind.  The leading man in the film we watched was...in a word...dull.  Flat and boring.  Okay, that is three words.  But, he was distracting, but not in a good way.  His presence on the screen made it impossible to watch the gorgeous Italian scenery behind him.  In all fairness, maybe fifteen years ago, I may have thought he was the bees knees, but now at this season in my life...not a chance.  I was rewriting the movie in my mind all the way through and the leading man was no where in my script.

Don't get me wrong, I am not anti-romance and I love the whole chick flick genre, but when the leading man's lines are laced with arrogance, I lose interest.  Much like I would in real life.  Confidence is one thing, arrogance another.  At one time, I may have found the dialogue funny and clever, but last night I found the leading man's comments belittling and insulting.  Perhaps I have been jaded by failed relationships.  Or maybe, just maybe, the recovery from the fallout from failed relationships has made me wiser.  The rose colored glasses have been replaced with a reality of what is really important in building a relationship.  Communication.  

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."  This is what the Bible says in Colossians 4:6.  Salt is more than a seasoning, it is a preservative too.  Additionally, in Matthew 5:13-15, we see the Bible calls us to be the "salt of the earth" and the "light of the earth".  These are the kinds of notions that stir my little romantic heart.  The Bible and romance?  Can it be?  Why not?  It makes perfect sense to me.  


Communication, is the cornerstone of a relationship, at least for me and I am attracted to conversationalists.  Humility, as I mentioned before, is the most attractive trait, but following a close second is a sense of humor.  This is how I break it down and why the verses in the Bible solidify my thoughts on romance.  Humility can engage in conversation.  Arrogance cannot.  Wit is endearing.  Insults are not.  Humility is the light.  Wit may be the salt.  If the communication isn't happening and I am not sincerely laughing, what would be the point of a relationship?  I am to be salt and light to the world...How could I possibly be in a relationship, especially a romance, when the other person isn't already salt and light too?


This view of the world affects how I watch movies, especially the chick flicks.  The leading man cannot be over-the-top rude or arrogant, because that is not the least bit interesting no matter how cute he thinks he is.  There is no substance.  Nothing inspiring nor endearing.  The leading man must be humble and witty for a movie to be remotely plausible to me.  Those traits inspire and create a foundation to build upon.  Humility and wit (salt and light) is the fresh air in which a relationship can breathe and flourish.  
 

Little Surprise

Tonight, some friends came over to my apartment to watch a chick flick.  Much to my surprise, one of my friends brought me some flowers!  She brought me flowers in place of candy snacks that were brought in for the movie.  I'm not eating sweets right now and so she thought I should have something for the movie.  How delightful!  How thoughtful too :)  The picture is of the flowers given to me.  Aren't they beautiful?    

Little surprises like these are blessings to my life.  I love how God works through others to touch our hearts.  It's awesome!  

Scenes from a Walk

View of Downtown Indy From Terrace

 Today, one of my niece's and I went for a walk.  We were looking for something to do that was cheap and fun.  Well, a friend of mine seems to always have really cool pictures to share on facebook.  So, I suggested to my niece that we just go someplace and walk around and take pictures of what we see.  We were at White River State Park for close to three hours.  Gorgeous day!  Sunny, warm, breezy...perfect picture taking weather.  The trek and the great outdoors has rendered me tired... good tired.  Because I am so sleepy, I would just like to share some of the images from today.  They are scenes from a walk.  :)

One of the Windows at Indiana State Museum Cafe

Indiana State Museum Entrance Canalside

Clock Outside of Indiana State Museum

One of the County Art Pieces



Statue Outside Eiteljorg Museum - Canal Side

Part of Mural on  South Side of Canal



Bridge Over Canal 

View From Bridge Over Canal



Part of a Mural Painted Along the Canal

Medals of Honor Memorial

Urban Family

I cannot take credit for the phrase "urban family" but it best describes some of the people I know.  My peeps, if you will.  The urban family is the singleton's social sanctuary.  The place where logic can be found in the midst of mirth.  Where reason rises from the ridiculous.  My urban family welcomes all facets of my personality, the good, the bad, the ugly, and the unmentionable.  What do I mean by unmentionable?  Not the gutter, if that is what you are thinking.  Maybe some urban families go there, but not me.  


The unmentionables, to me, are those things I would say where most people would respond with "are you out of your mind?" or "I can't believe you would say that!"  My urban family replies to those notions with an enthusiastic "me too!" or empathetic "you have a point".  It is the kind of conversations where divulging the highlights of a really weird dream leads to creative inspiration.  Or, expressions of grief and pain are met with compassion before constructive advice is rendered, if it is given at all.  Freely speaking my mind with kindred spirits, without fear of ridicule or reproach, is priceless, the "pièce de résistance" in the Art of Friendship.

Dining with urban family tonight, brought insight into some of the things I have been struggling with lately.  These friends were the sounding board I needed to talk me back from the edge.  Not a literal edge, but the figurative.  Nonsensical ramblings can be deciphered by these friends, because they know me.  They know "the real me".  The one that doesn't always think or behave "the right way".  Having an appreciation for the human condition comes naturally to them.  My condition isn't always good, especially today, so the timeliness our get-together was a blessing.  


On days like today, I do not know what I would do without my urban family.  Being with a couple of them this evening was an infusion of joy I have needed.  My gratitude is depicted in the photo I found for my blog.  I love this picture!  It's graffiti art and it captures how I feel about my urban family tonight. 


"Oil and perfume rejoice the heart; so does the sweetness of a friend's counsel that comes from the heart"  Proverbs 27:9 (AMP)

Find Myself Lost

LOST is how I have been feeling lately.  I looked up the definition of lost and found it has several different meanings.  I can identify with most of them.  

How do I find my way when all routes are distorted perceptions of clarity?  Turning back would be a crushing defeat.  The challenges and struggles have strengthened me some, although, there was wounding in the process.  I've come too far to turn back, but what do I do now?  

I've been restless and reckless in finding my way.  Maybe there is no clarity because I am supposed to wait for awhile, and while I am waiting, I am to rest.  Rest my mind.  Rest my heart.  Rest in the presence of the Almighty God.  Jehovah.  Jehovah-shalom.  The God of peace.  I need His peace so I can hear Him.  I cannot move forward without a respite to refocus.  My prayer is found in the following scripture from the book of Psalms.  

Psalm 25:4-5 (NKJV)

"Show me Your ways, O Lord;

Teach me Your paths.

Lead me in Your truth and teach me,

For You are the God of my salvation;

On You I wait all the day."

If you think about it, pray for me.  I have been struggling with uncertainty of where I should be and debilitating doubts of my direction.  It is disheartening to me when I find myself lost.  Yet, God is my salvation from myself and in Him I can reclaim hope that He will guide me when the time is right.